She was a little surprised to see it was a text from Kyle.
shes in icu. heart failure. im sorry.
Nevvie closed her eyes, counted to ten, and tried reading the text again. The message read the same.
Instead of texting back, she called him.
He sounded surprised to receive her call. “Did I wake you?” he asked.
“It’s okay. What happened?”
His tone turned resigned. “We were both at work. Jacob found her on the floor in the kitchen when he got home. He called the ambulance. It’s the congestive heart failure.”
“How is she?”
He hesitated. “The doctor said we’re in the end stages now. She probably won’t leave the hospital.”
“How are you and Jacob doing?”
“I’m…dealing. He’s in there with her now. I’m sorry I didn’t text you earlier. I should have, but everything’s been happening so fast it slipped my mind.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” Nevvie pinched the bridge of her nose and thought for a moment. Tyler and Tom wouldn’t be happy about this, but she knew if she didn’t do it, she’d probably regret it for the rest of her life. “What hospital are you at?”
* * * *
Nevvie stood under water as cold as she could stand it to wake up. She’d already put on a pot of coffee and emptied, then repacked, a suitcase and carry-on to take with her. The knock on the bathroom door startled her.
“Yes?”
“Nevvie, honey? Are you all right?” It was Peggy.
“Come on in, Mom.”
Nevvie gave her the quick version. By the time Nevvie was getting out of the shower and toweling dry, Peggy had gone to the kitchen and returned with a mug of coffee made nearly perfectly the way Tyler would have made it for her.
She sipped it. “Thanks, Mom. I already booked a seat on the first commuter flight from Savannah to Atlanta. From there, I fly out to Denver, and get a flight from there directly into Sheridan and will be there by tonight.” Nevvie’s stomach rolled and she closed her eyes, certain she was going to throw up. Her nerves were shot. She finally recovered her equilibrium.
“You gonna be okay?”
“I don’t know, Mom. I…” She let out a harsh laugh and hugged Peggy. “You are my mom. Mary was my mom once, and I did love her. And while I’m getting to know Kelly and really like her, it’s not the same. But is it just nerves and emotions and sleep deprivation that’s got me thinking how weird it is I’m leaving my adopted mom’s home to go sit and watch a woman who used to be my adopted mom die?” She let out another snort. “Did that even make any sense?”
Peggy smiled. “It’s okay, Nev. You’re tired and upset. Don’t worry about the boys. Andrew and I will take care of them.”
“I need to call a cab.”
“Like heck you will. I’ll drive you.”
“But it’s so early.”
“Won’t be the first time I’ve ever gotten up early in the morning to drive somewhere, sugar. I worked morning shifts more years than I care to think about. You finish getting ready. I’ll make you some breakfast to take with you.”
Nevvie choked back her tears. She refused to cry right now. “Thanks, Mom.”
“And for the record, you are my sixth daughter.” She smiled. “And I didn’t even have to suffer stretch marks or change your diapers to get you.” Nevvie laughed as Peggy closed the door behind her.
By the time Nevvie made it out to the kitchen, Peggy had dressed, made Nevvie a breakfast sandwich, and woken up Andrew to let him know what was going on.
“Dad, I’m sorry to just bail like this.”
He smiled. “It’s all right, Nev. Truly.” She didn’t miss the glance he sent Peggy’s way. “I’m sure the two of us will do just fine with the little ones.”
Nevvie also didn’t miss the smile Peggy sent back to Andrew.
Maybe this was a good idea. A really good idea. It might give them the time alone they needed if she wasn’t underfoot.
“Um, okay. Well, I’ll keep you posted during my layovers.”
“Did you get your phone charger?” Peggy asked.
Nevvie winced. “Thanks, Mom!” She raced back to her room to get it. Then she stopped by the boys’ bedroom and kissed both of them. They looked so peaceful, and it struck Nevvie that she didn’t have a single qualm about leaving them with Peggy and Andrew.
With her mom and dad.
She smiled.
On the way to the airport, Nevvie drank coffee from the travel mug Peggy had provided and ate her breakfast sandwich.
“You be safe, sugar,” Peggy admonished. “Don’t take any chances.”
“I’m probably safer out there than I am in Florida right now.”
“And don’t you worry about us here, either. We’ll be okay.”
“Please call Tommy and Ty for me this morning. Tell them I’ll call them as soon as I can.”
“I will. Don’t you worry about it.” She pulled up in front of the departures area and parked. “And don’t be beating yourself up over what you think you should or shouldn’t be feeling while you’re out there, either. You’re human. You need to let out whatever emotions you have and don’t try to analyze them or put them into neat, tidy packages.”
Nevvie leaned over and hugged her. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, sugar.” She opened the trunk for Nevvie so she could get her bags. “Now go get checked in.”
Nevvie made it to her gate with plenty of time to spare and caught her flight. Within hours she was in the air again, this time to Denver to wait for her flight to Sheridan. That was when she was finally able to call Tom.
“We need to put one of those tracking collars on you, baby girl. Like they do the bears in Yellowstone.”
She laughed, relieved. He didn’t sound nearly as upset as she worried he might be. “I know. One of those tags in my ears, too?”
“Nah, that’d just look silly.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you before I left.”
“It’s okay. We understand. Are you okay?”
She took a moment to think about it. Her stomach was still in knots. She thought at one point on the Atlanta to Denver flight she might need the airsick bag, but then after a few pretzels it settled again. “I think I’m more sleep deprived than anything at this point. My stomach’s a mess. How’s Ty?”
“He’s being Tyler. How do you think he is?” At that moment, she heard Tyler yelling in the background.
“Is that her? Give me the phone, blast you! Why didn’t you tell me she was on the phone?” Nevvie snickered as Tyler came onto the line. “Love, where in bloody blue blazes are you?”
“I’m sitting in Denver, waiting for my flight to Sheridan and sipping a latte. You want to take it down a few notches, or do I need to tell Tommy to spike your Earl Grey tea with some of his pain meds to mellow you the fuck out?”
He let out an exaggerated sigh. “I’m just concerned about your safety.”
“I’m in freaking Denver, Ty. I don’t think I could be much safer unless I was in a padded room somewhere in outer Mongolia.”
“I can fly out there tomorrow and—”
“No.”
From the moment it took him to respond, her answer must have taken him aback. “What?”
“I said no. No thank you, Ty. I can do this.” She took a deep breath. “I need to do this.” She thought about it a little longer. “I want to do this. I want to be charitable. Lord knows, I have enough experience dealing with hospitals. If nothing else, maybe at least I can help run interference with the doctors or something and let them focus on her. Bottom line is, I don’t want to spit in the face of the good fortune I’ve had in my life.”
His voice sounded different. “I’m so very, very proud of you, love.”
“That warms the cockles of my heart. Oh, and by the way, if you haven’t noticed, I’m extremely sleep deprived.”
“The extra dose of snark was a clue, angel.” She heard the sm
ile in his voice.
“Okay. Just wanted to make sure you understood I’m not trying to be bitchy, but my don’t-be-bitchy filter is in the shop.”
“I do. I’ll get packed and head up to Savannah today.”
“No, you don’t need to do that, either.”
“Well, why not?”
For such a smart guy, he was so totally clueless sometimes. “Do I need to do the math for you? Let Mom and Dad have some alone time.”
“What do you mean, ‘alone time’? They aren’t alone. They have the boys there.”
“Alone as in a-looone. Without the three of us hanging over them. As in, they can have lots of time to talk when the kids are napping or sleeping.”
“What?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and rubbed. “Man. Woman. Together. Alone. Do. The. Math.”
“Oh. Ooohhhhh. Ah. Now I’m tracking, love.”
“And I’m the sleep-deprived one.”
“Right. Love you, here’s Thomas, before he rips the bloody phone out of my hand.”
Tom came back on the line. “What are you two talking about?”
“You realize that damn thing has a speaker function, right?”
“Yeah, baby girl, duh. But he yanked it away from me. What were you talking about?”
“Tyler wanted to go chaperone Mom and Dad.”
“Huh?”
“Let him explain it. I’m too tired. I need to go, my phone’s nearly dead. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Call us when you land.”
“Will do.” She hung up and stared at the phone. Then she stared at her empty latte cup.
She eyed the restaurant two gates down that also sold liquor. It was tempting.
Very tempting.
She let out a sigh. With the condition she was in, it would put her on her ass, not to mention it might make her yak on the next flight. She trudged the other direction to the Starbucks and ordered two more lattes.
* * * *
It was nearly eight that night by the time she landed in Sheridan, rented a car, found a hotel room, and located the hospital. She texted Tom that she’d arrived safely. Then she texted Kyle and he met her at the hospital entrance with a hug.
He looked years older than he had when they’d had dinner with them.
“Thanks for coming, Nevvie. I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.
“It’s okay. How are you and Jacob holding up?”
He shrugged. “I feel numb right now. We knew she wasn’t well, but we found out this morning she wasn’t telling us how sick she really was. Her regular doctor came to see her and told us she’s known she’s been bad for a while. One of her friends from her church used to drive her to her appointments while we were working.”
He led her inside the hospital. While it certainly wasn’t as large as the one she’d spent more than her fair share inside of in Tampa, at that time of night it still had an antiseptic air, combined with the haunting feeling of impending doom.
Or maybe it was just her sleep-deprived state.
In the ICU, she scrubbed her hands and followed Kyle to Mary’s cubicle. In this ICU, there were no solid walls separating the bed areas, just curtains. When they stepped inside, Jacob looked up from where he was sitting beside her. His eyes were red and puffy, as if they’d just missed him crying.
Mary, her eyes closed, looked even more frail lying in a bed that dwarfed her.
“Hi, Nevvie,” he softly said.
She walked over and hugged him. “Hey, how you doing?”
He shrugged.
Kyle pulled another chair over so all three of them could sit at her side. The nurses didn’t interrupt them.
“Have you guys gotten any sleep?” Nevvie asked.
Kyle shook his head. “What’s that?”
“Okay, why don’t you two try to get some sleep? I’ll stay here with her.”
“You’ve got to be as exhausted as we are after your trip,” Jacob said.
She shrugged. “Now’s not the time for the story, but let’s just say I’m no stranger to all-night hospital vigils.”
The brothers looked at each other for a minute, as if looking for permission from the other to go. Nevvie was reminded of the two little boys who sat on her bed that afternoon so long ago, crying, begging her not to leave.
“Go home,” she softly said, firmly taking charge. “I’ll call you if there’s any change. Make sure you charge your phones.”
They both nodded. Each brother gave her a strong hug that nearly started her crying before they walked out.
When the nurse came in a few minutes later to check on Mary, she looked slightly taken aback.
“Where are her sons?”
“I sent them home to get some sleep.” Nevvie had moved to the recliner next to the bed, propping herself up on her side so she could see both Mary and the TV.
“And you are?”
Nevvie knew the nurse wasn’t trying to be officious, but she also wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from anyone at this point. “I’m her daughter. I’m staying with her tonight.”
* * * *
Nevvie managed a few catnaps. When the unit’s on-call physician made rounds to check on everyone at midnight, she cornered him and made him sit down with her at the nurses’ station with Mary’s chart and go over everything.
She digested the information he gave her. After a moment, she said, “Realistically, how long are we looking at?”
His lips pressed together, forming a thin line. He shook his head. “We’re just trying to keep her comfortable. She’s too fragile to transfer to hospice.”
She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Okay. Thank you, Doctor.”
“Would you like me to call the chaplain for you?”
“No, it’s okay.” She returned to Mary’s bedside and resumed her previous position and managed to drift to sleep again.
A little before dawn, a noise awoke her. She opened her eyes and saw Mary staring at her. “Good morning,” Nevvie said.
A faint smile curled Mary’s lips, but she didn’t speak. Nevvie sat up and quickly texted Kyle that she was awake. He immediately replied, before she could even put her phone down, that they were on the way.
Nevvie reached over and gently wrapped her fingers around Mary’s hand. “How are you feeling?” Calling her “mom” still stuck in her mouth and rolled around like a cold, iron marble.
“You’re here.”
Nevvie nodded. “I got here last night. I sent the boys home to sleep. It’s almost morning. They’re on their way back now.”
Mary gave the slightest of nods. “Your babies are beautiful.”
Nevvie swore she wouldn’t cry even though her stomach rolled again. “Thank you.”
“You’re a better mother than I was. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s in the past.”
Mary shook her head. “No. Not okay. You don’t let fear stop you from being a good mom. I was scared. I gave in.”
Nevvie heard the monitors make slightly more erratic noises than they had all night. She knew Mary was getting herself upset and it wouldn’t help her. “It doesn’t matter. I love you, and I’m here for you, and that’s all in the past. Okay?” She smiled and squeezed Mary’s hand. “I’m here for you, Mom.”
Well, her head didn’t explode. That was progress.
Don’t spit in the face of good fortune.
“You made Kyle and Jacob so happy, Nevvie,” she said. Her voice sounded even weaker. “Thank you for not holding what I did against them. You’re the only family they have now.” Her eyes closed as she drifted back to sleep.
It was obvious to Nevvie that Kyle and Jacob had made Mary their life. Jacob had recounted to her the seminal incident that happened the day Jim abandoned them, one that Kyle didn’t know about. Jim had started slapping Mary, and Jacob had intervened. Kyle had still been at school that afternoon, and even though Jacob knew he didn’t stand a chance against his father physically, Jacob had
told the man to go to hell.
Jacob remembered it had started with Mary telling Jim that no, she wouldn’t uproot the boys again to go somewhere, and he’d started slapping her, yelling at her that he was her husband and she would submit to him. Jim had been so startled by his son’s defiance that when he went to hit him, Mary grabbed his arm and told him to get the hell out or she’d have him arrested.
Neither Jacob, nor Kyle, had gone to college. Jacob had dropped out his junior year of high school and got a GED so he could go to work full-time. Mary and Jacob had insisted Kyle finish high school, but he also immediately went to work full-time after graduation. Both boys had held part-time jobs while in high school to help make ends meet. Mary had worked up until Kyle’s junior year, when she was forced to quit due to her health.
Nevvie felt too tired to contemplate the ramifications. She wouldn’t have wished what she went through on anyone, but once she met Tom and Tyler, her life had turned into a fairy tale by comparison.
Kyle and Jacob were two young men about to lose their mother.
Nevvie had a loving extended family.
These two had nobody but her, once Mary died.
When Kyle and Jacob returned, Mary opened her eyes again and managed a smile for them. The doctors made morning rounds and, out of Mary’s earshot, told the three of them that if she made it through the day, it would be a miracle.
In silence, the three gathered around her bedside again to wait. It didn’t take long. Nevvie’s experienced ear noticed the monitors growing even more erratic, alarms tripping so frequently that the nurses finally set them to silent mode. They stopped taking her vital signs as well, giving them privacy.
A little before nine that morning, Mary opened her eyes and looked at all three of them. “I love all of you,” she whispered.
“We love you, too, Mom,” Nevvie said.
Kyle and Jacob nodded. “I love you, Mom,” Jacob said.
“Me, too,” Kyle echoed. “I love you.”
Mary nodded, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.